relationships, everybody
so as we all know i lowkey got my heart broken a little bit ago.. & it was'nt that i thought i'd be alone forever, or that i was ugly and no one wanted me, it did'nt throw me into horrible depression or put me on a skank rant & make me wanna go out into the world and get freaky with a 1000 people to somehow cosmically right his wrong..
all it really did was make me realize how much it sucks to be hurt.. especially by the person who did it.. it was just so surprising.. i never thought he had it in him to just completely go against his word & treat me like just some random girl he talked to for a few months..
that being said i've decided the next "relationship" i get to...wether its just talking or dating or like youre exclusively my boyfrirend..regardless of what kind of relationship it is.. im just not going to hurt them.. bc i know fiiiiiiirst hand how shitty it is... like he'll pop up in my mini feed & my whole like next 10 minutes is just sour.. & i NEVER want anyone to feel that way about me.. i never want to just be capable of completely hurting someone.
next dude im really into is getting the 100% real me.. like so and so and so and so and so and so never broke my heart.. like he who must not be named never cheated on me.. like mr.right didnt turn out to be mr. ooooooh oooooh ooooooooh so wrong..... basically im going to turn back into 7th grade me and not punish the next for what the foolios of this world may have done.
as corny as it sounds an ideal life is centered around love..and im not saying im out here looking for love with one of those machines ppl use on the beach to find gold but i am being open to the idea of "not all men are dogs" bc technically if youre no longer human, and youre a dog.. all that makes me is a bitch. and im not with that whole movement...
so basically no matter whats happened to me in the past, or will happen to me in the future, i think as awful as it may be i'd rather get hurt than be the asshole hurting someone else, i'm going to stop shutting good things out bc of fear and really give good guys a chance, and i'm going to speak life not death into the men in my life.
lehh the chuuuuch say amen.
