bitches bitches bitches bitches

these are obviously out of order, but that doesnt discredit the funny.

.Old Pictures Of Atlanta.

HOLD THE PHONE...THIS JUST IN

MY SISTERS COMING TO TOWN ON THURSDAY.

[FIST PUMP! FIST PUMP! FIST PUMP!]

...now i'm not one to talk shit..

.WEEKLY.GOSSIP.

i feel like if one of them saw my blog, they wouldnt be flattered..they would be creeped out. sorry about that ladies, it was like love at first sight! Anyways Khloe-Khlo is GLOWING in this picture, f**k the haters, i think her and papa Odom are very happy together & if they split then i was wrong.. buuut i'm rarely wrong. so i think they'll be together a while!

damn vanilla bait..if i was to ever go smack at a man, HE would def. be the one.. i'm obviously the spice girl he needs in his life, v.becks isn't 1/2 the woman i am...if he cant see that my thick college bank account would OBVIOUSLY persuade him..i could buy him all the Merkersons he wanted. <3

don't get me wrong, i still am anti light skinned relationships.. i think the yellows are trying to mass make a super race of brighties & i dont agree with that in the LEAST, hooooooowever! they both look amazing in this picture for some reason.. i really appreciate a woman that looks nice without looking like MAC did it & ran.

being an inhabitant of the great Atlanta,Georgia im all for the alleged "futuristic swag" but regardless of the raves & whoopdeydoos i've heard about it.. i just cant tune into that shit.. Lady Gaga i feel like is the test alien sent down from the abyss formally known as pluto for the human race to "accept" before the Gagagians take over.

Obviously these are my bestfriends.. & when i change my name it's going to be Kardalivia BUT funds must be tighter than a motha f**ka if were sharing dresses these days..on the brightside it's cute & all but i hope that bitch was like 6k or more otherwise they should prob be able to afford their own fits :/

SOS. HOLD THE PHONE. CALL 911. GIVE ME A BREATHALIZER.

how in the hot F did i not know eddie winslow was married to superHEAD Mrs.Steffans? She's litterally the biggest skankdawg in hoey-wood.. smh eddie boy, she even LOOKS like she rolls.. sheeshamyesha i hope he didnt catch a germygerm or 30

whOOps..! idk how this shit got in here? this is from my personal collection..as yall can see, this is a picture of me from behind, it's just a little something for my fans! everyone loves my cakes!

normally, i would fire his ass up & put him outta business for actin like a bitch in this picture, but numerous witnesses can attest i've been known to cry over getting my ends clipped...f**k off about it though, i'm a black woman..we like our hair.

hi! hi! hi! hi! hi! it's everyones favorite androgynous hero B. Scott..forget what yall think, i think hes a cutie pie & those 16 inches & those stilletos are giving me life! Snaps for the kids if you ask me!

Apparently these 2 are bunned up like two peas in a pod these days.. oddly enough their my 2 least fave members of celebrity families.. using that logic though i guess they belong together..neither of them seem to be too happy in these pictures though so hopefully they were pre relationship.

worlds crumbiest mother

lynne curtin everybody

[..wamp..womp..wemp..]

TALK.

ABOUT.

A.

NEW.

FAVE.

..my favorite miami pictures..

March 9- March 14 2010

even though it WAS'NT the trip i thought it would be..

i did have SOME fun && got some really cute pictures

with some of my absolute favorite people..

i love my sisters

this picture is old but i REALLY love it..there's nothing like family.

single. taken. taken.
LUCKY FOR YOU BOYS ATLEAST I'M STILL UP FOR GRABBIES.

old fashioned

i've been thinking lately, & i think my main issues with dudes are that:

________________________________________________________

[a] i'm VERY old fashioned

[b] i'm jaded.
[c] i either dont catch ANY feelings for someone or catch TOO MANY.

[d] i hate playing games but don't know how not to.
[e] i look on the inside not the outside. ________________________________________________________

[a] i've never been 1 of those chicks who wants to like meet you at 2 am in your room to chill. i'm not going to EVER go smack at a boy, no matter how cute he is..i won't give your homeboy my # to give to you cause you wanted him to put you on.. infact more than likely i'll take your # & maybe if i want you to have mine i MIGHT text you at a reasonable time, like 4 pm..not 4 am & i'm gonna ask you what your major is, not if you wanna come over. i'm just not down with the tips people are on these days, they def. had it right in the old days.

[b] i'm mega jaded.. i dont trust easily, if at all.. i think all boys are liars..& when someones starting to remind me of someone i used to talk to i FLIP..i think only girls who dont deserve men have them & assume all boys want is my nanas [which arent an option] basically i've been screwed too many times, & no matter how hard i try to forget all the shit & give boys a chance. shit doesnt work.

[c] i have one of those all or nothing personalities that are [in my opinion] very rare. i never do anything i dont plan to do 100%, but ironically sometimes i really just dont g.a.f regardless of how hard i try to..if i like you i LIKE you..if i dont i DONT point____period.i've broken just as many hearts as ppl have broke mine & thats just life, i dont like being that girl, but i'd rather not be the vulnerable one in ANY situation, & obviously thats horrible, & the wrong way to go about things but thats why im working on the shit.

[d] i honestly think game playing is one of the dumbest things black people have invented, & i say black, not because im some cyncical racist against my own people, but seriously white people dont play this shit..they ALWAYS speak their feelings, white boys will chase a girl forever, & vice versa theyll tell you what you did made them -mad -happy -cry -scream -giggle any emotion, theyre fine sharing. us on the other hand are the opposite.. i dont care if a boy breaks me down so bad i want to jump off a bridge i'm not letting him see me sweat, MUCH less cry unless its just that bad. & i think that enclosure of feelings is the root of so many problems. maybe when a boy spends the day with me i should let him know i really enjoyed hanging out, or when he holds the door say thanks your such a gentleman, or when he says you look pretty today tell him i was hoping he would notice. i think sometimes emotions NEED to be shown, & maybe the state of a lot of relationships i've had would be different. if the only emotion that ever gets reinforced is anger that is'nt getting across to the other person the tru feeling you want to get across which is most likely hurt, or embarassment, or loneliness.. etc.

[e] i'm NOT like these other girls out here who care about superficial shit.. i dont care how many things you could buy me, i dont care where your daddy works.. i dont care that i would be in a different crowd if i talked to you.. i dont care that youre "famous" i dont care about any of that.. i care that you text me & ask me if im ok after i had a bad day, i care that when i'm with you i smile the whole time, i care that when i wakeup after we got in a fight you texted me apologizing cause you couldnt go to sleep knowing you hurt my feelings, i care that when you hug me you hold on a few extra seconds, i care that when i'm being out of line you know how to tell me appropriately, i care that when something goes wrong i can hit you up for advice, i care that if i see you talking to another girl i can be sure its just a conversation. i care about what matters.

spring break 2010

to say the least it was : NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.. i feel like i learned a lot about myself on the trip, & it's safe to say i'm definately NOT a normal "college" girl. i dont want everyboy to have my number, I'm not going to leave the room at 5 am to "hangout" with a boy i'll never see again. I don't entertain ppl whos only volume is a yell.. i'm fine going out for 3 hours & getting a good nights sleep. i have hardcore values & if i think somethings wrong, or stupid, or nasty, no matter how many people are doing it, im not with it. and i dont think any of this makes me better than anyone else i think it just defines my character a little stronger.. & im not gonna sit around & act like im perfect & i never go overboard on the fun but i really think this whole "you only live once - were in college" crap is a load of bs. because i'd rather act like i have some damn sense, & a mother who raised me now & act a fool when i'm established, with money in my pocket instead of trying to be super fun now with limited resources & a future at stake..just some thoughts though, nothing too too.. on the brightside i got a cute pic out of it all.

beautiful blacks at the oscars
baity tyrese & his adorable daughter just walkin & cheesin

whats with the tims though my g?

bk looking super regal at some event in richland

fair trade?

.i.think.yes.

lucky ass jail system snaggin these 2 hunnies

---wise things said by easy weezy---

fuck you bitch i'm acting brand new.

i dont care, i so what these bitches & put young money baby way above these bitches.
the top is so appropriate, this is just where i belong.

yes im the best, & i aint positive, im definite.

they dont make em like me anymore, matter fact they never made em like me before.

baby i'm me. so who you?

i'm young.
i'm full of life.
i'm all about having fun.

..celebrity..baby-niggas..

rich ass little simba.. im sorry i mean nahla.. just wondering halle, i know you think you the shit cause some texas clowns made a song about you & shit but real deal...naming your young bull after a lion king character is #dead #oc #foolisha #trashic

j.garner is cool to be white & all & i understand ethnic names.. like carter as a first name, or edna or something but its type wild to name your damn baby Seraphina.. it sounds like some type of allergy medicine for older people.. just dont make no gd sense.

awww a united nations meeting.. whoopsies its actually the gang of infants adopted into the jolie-pitt clan.. smh.. im all for diversity but why is ever superpower from WWI represented in your immediate family? im just confused.. i need to be educated apparently.

normally, i wouldnt have shit nice to say about chris [ludacris] bridges aka mr.dtp.. but his little mama is lowkey cute, she looks like unlike her progenetor, shes up to some good..lbg's [little black girls] are my fave.. not to be bias or anything :)

.i'm.in.miami.trick.

.bee aye ohh doubleyou.

.exclamation point.

D. dreadfully light.. the color of tinkle

R. realistically the pits but to the media gorgeous

A. A like the letter of your real first name.. Aubrey

K. kind of similar to your local neighboorhood squirrel

E. ewww your hairline is litterally ontop of, talking to, cuddling with, intruding on those cavemen eyebrows of yours!

1 day till south beach.
["miami hoe im prolly w/tammy tote"]
heads up .. i plan to act a donkey fool.
hopefully for 5 consecutive days nonstop.
prepare & govern yourselves accordingly.

.MEET LAUREN.

This is: Lauren 'The Pits' Moore, she's my buddy.

Shes from Houston, TX & sounds just like Madea.

Shes teeny tiny, & she knows how to do sew ins.

Follow her blog: www.herhighnessLO.blogspot.com

todays feature: ignorance

[disclaimer] : as an immensely accomplished, educated, young black woman. i know the dictionary definition of the word ignorant (to be lacking of knowledge, unaware of etc.] HOWEVER i choose to use the black definition when & where i so please. blessings.

1.shirts with labels like "baby gurl" "i love my man" "99% angel".
- you mam are none of the above.. & if so are still the pitts.

2.niggas who try & kick it to you & start off with "scuze me? i cud tlk to u fa a minute"?
-NIGGA WHAT? if you "cud talk" at all maybe... -_-

3.when the ladies at the store act like they dont see you or ask if you need help.
-honey boo i got more in my wallet than you do in your wachovia savings account. :)

4.when elton john said he assumed jesus was a gay man.
-#boystop #childplease #keep it movin #whitepplshit #dead #youneedtobebeat

5.the cover of cosmopolitans magazines.
-how many times do i need to see a star in an Herve with some caption talkin about "how to stroke a man butt naked" -_- womp.

6.when you get stuck behind someone in a turn lane who's scared to turn.
-how are you a liscensed driver? did someone of an asiatic background teach you to drive? i have places to be, & im in a rush.. bust a move patna.

7.when you're on campus & you speak to ppl you know you dont like just so they dont try that atlanta specific "oh you cant speak now" shit.
-no. sir, mam, or coon. i havent lost control of my vocal cords thats not the issue, i just never really liked you.

8.that one clown at school who feels he must display his talent(s) at all times.
-why are you walking around singing,rapping,doing spoken word (etc.) on the way to class for a group of freshman girls.. how you only have 1 selling point? whoosh lame boy.

9.when an ole dude be trying to talk to you again wayy after the fact.
-omgosh sir, i am SO sorry, i thought i made it really clear to you that i wasnt in the business of having business with clowns,liars,skankdogs,bizzybodys,rollers,tricks,hooligans,scaliwags (etc.). my sincerest apoligizes though, i should've made myself more clear.

10.ppl who count skincolor as a main attribute to being bad.
-yeah. hi, just because "shawtys yellowbone" does not mean her bone structure, body, face, legs,boobs,butt,toe nails, etc. dont look like they belong on a 41 yr. old caucasian male truck driver from Tallahasse.

11.ppl who try & use you & think you dont know whats good, like youre some kinda fool.
-you need me for A, & thats cool, imma getcho ass from B-Z. believe that clown.

12.girls who say everyones their "best friend" or "brother" or "favorite".
-honey child, you dont gotta lie to us,last time i checked i wasnt makin do me eyes at my bestie.

13.when someone "friends" you on facebook & yall only have 1 friend in common.
-wholetime that friend is someone you met once at a party freshman yr. & have had no further contact with EVER. dear creeper, no you cant be my cyber friend! how'd you even find me?! smh. xoxo. livi.

14.uppity people who use every big word in their vocabulary to say a simple ass sentence.
-i say: he was blowing me, we were not on the same tip, so i just said f**k it.
-they say: their were extenuating circumstances unseemingly happenings, & he spoke a completely different vernacular than me, so i assumed we were unfit for eachother, & instead of taking the circuitous route, ended it before future mishaps could come to fruition.

15.girls who think they can do wash & go's & take their asses to class.
-hi, im Olivia, i just wanted to let you know you look like a zoo creature escaped from hell & if you want a wavy look should go get a 1b from the beauty supply. theirs a bunch in the hood. big. small. clean. dirty. any you like. good day bat.

throwback ["on you hoes"]

lo.syd.hope.britt.liv.joh.

pow! pow! pow!pow!pow!

reminisce. talk some shit. forever young is in ya mind.